From oracle-request Sat Nov 14 10:35:57 1992 Received: by moose.cs.indiana.edu (5.65c/9.4jsm) id AA11233; Sat, 14 Nov 1992 10:35:57 -0500 Date: Sat, 14 Nov 1992 10:35:57 -0500 From: To: oracle-list Subject: Usenet Oracularities #500 Reply-To: oracle-vote X-Face: "9e\S&XFxP?L)~?^jbHC!$jk5#O}v\n#nwz8'd$#(H,+B4n<^{GSCr,![PCrQOV1 nW{vh|Ev<)b!y?'?aysJ)3YJ_/sOl@a'lKaG,uk|Xh3mR+xa]XJ!$vqAjQe?.nst;0/"u?M2K~rC6k~ |)'uWrn%alJW'QwwJJ441kc,m.C!?:EP49(+ X-Planation: X-Face can be viewed with "faces". From the iuvax archive today. === 500 ================================================================== Title: Usenet Oracularities #500 Compiled-By: "Steve Kinzler" Date: Sat, 14 Nov 1992 10:35:57 -0500 To find out how to participate in the Usenet Oracle, send mail to: oracle@cs.indiana.edu or {ames,rutgers}!iuvax!oracle with the word "help" in the subject line. Let us know what you like! Send your ratings of these Oracularities on an integer scale of 1 = "not funny" to 5 = "very funny" with the volume number to oracle-vote on iuvax (probably just reply to this message). For example: 500 2 1 3 4 3 5 3 3 4 1 495 39 votes 38i73 33b9d 5ah43 4ia34 8hc20 07bc9 65e77 6fd41 9ad52 36e88 495 2.9 mean 3.0 3.7 2.7 2.6 2.2 3.6 3.1 2.5 2.5 3.3 --- 500-01 --------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: asbestos@nwu.edu (Michael A. Atkinson) The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Oracle? Hi. I'm one of the TA's for your Tuesday - Thursday course > at Usenet University, "Intro to the Usenet Oracle." We had a few > questions about the course content, and frankly some of the students > who signed up for this course are a little strange, so we were hoping > you could help us out and answer a few questions. > > * A lot of the students are complaining about hard-to-find > textbooks for this course, and some of the foreign students > say that the books are banned in their home countries and > that they could be executed for even speaking of them. > How should we handle this? > > * The animal-rights activists are protesting about the > woodchuck questions. They say the woodchucks weren't given any > choice about whether they wanted to participate in this course, > that woodchucks have the same rights as people do and should be > given college credit just like everybody else, and threatening to > have you brought before a faculty review board for not being > Politically Correct. They say they're willing to forgive this in > exchange for an "A" in the course, which would also help to > remedy the past injustices of your ancestors. Any suggestions? > > * On a similar note, a number of female students in the > course claim that the Oracle/Lisa relationship is inherently > sexist and are demanding that the course material be rewritten to > be gender-neutral and unoffensive. They are threatening to have > you brought before a Congressional committee made up entirely of > newly elected female Representatives, where you will be publicly > drawn, quartered, branded as a sexist and rejected as a Supreme > Court nominee. They are also willing to overlook this injustice > in exchange for an "A" in the course, although you would have to > spend several weeks in Sensitivity Training seminars in order to > retain your tenure. > > * An across-the-board 10% budget cut by the state > legislature has made it impossible to obtain many of the > materials needed for lab sessions and demonstrations in the > course, and the Dean says that even if they DO find an intact > Brontosaurus frozen in the Swiss Alps, we can't buy it and make > it into steaks. The department auditor is already asking us to > explain the purchase of 764 cans of whipped cream, and we're > having a hard time. > > * Finally, a number of us graduate students have been > wondering about whether this program really has a future, in > terms of career and job opportunities and the like, and whether > there's really a market out there for postgraduate degrees in > Oracular Theology. Can you give us any pointers on what we need > to do in order to become omnipotent deities like yourself? > > Thanks for your help. And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Look, you little weasel, you're never going to make it as a faculty } member unless you learn to write shorter memos. And that's PROFESSOR } Oracle to you. Your supplication contained five questions instead of } the requisite one, and for that alone I'm having you dropped from the } program. To give you consolation and something to think over while } you wash dishes, I'll answer them and show you how a *real* Oracle } writes a memo. } } * Fail them. } * Fail them. } * Fail them. } * Lie. } * See first sentence above. } } TUO/ln.s.g --- 500-02 --------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Dave Disser The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Oh great and wise Oracle, who knows much in the ways of the > Universe, please help this most lowly and unworthy supplicant. > > I was playing a record yesterday, and as I watched it, a thought > came into my head. (Yes, this is rare, but it's a really neat > thought.) Anyhow, I noticed that the outer part of the record > moves faster than the inner part; that is, the outer part of the > record covers more distance than the inner part in the same time. > But even though the record is spinning at several different speeds > as you go from edge to center, the whole thing doesn't rip itself > to shreds. How does a record stay together when you play it? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Watching the record spin must have affected your brain in some } mysterious way. The outer part makes as many laps per minute as the } inner part. This is also true when it comes to Compact Discs. I } recommend that you buy a CD player. Many CD players hide the disc } completely, and that will remove the problem you have concerning } spinning things with music on them. } } And the sound is better too... } } You owe the Oracle a Bang&Olufsen EXP 9 ENSI-VE hi-fi system. --- 500-03 --------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Carole Susan Fungaroli The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Wonderous oracle of knowledge and power, > I wish to knwo the answer to a humble and insignificant query. > > When I was in 1st grade, and all through grade school, I had a desk > about 2 feet square, with room underneath to store stuff inside. I > filled it with rocks and got paste all over the top. In middle school, > the desks did not have space inside them. In high school the desks > were just like middle school, only smaller. I usually took up the two > desks on either side of me, if I could. Now that I'm in college and > have even more reason to need a larger desktop than I ever have, I find > they are about half a foot square and bolted to chairs that are too > small to sit in. Was there some cosmic mixup somewhere? Were the > desks that ended up at grade school meant for colleges, but got lost > along the way? Were these tiny insufficient desks meant for the grade > schoolers they would actually fit? Why has nothing been done to correct > this situation? I need help before I need a chiropractor!! And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING DESKS } Original Screenplay by Sally Caves } } [Scene 1: A 1950s suburban elementary school. Blackboard with } handwriting exercises, American flag, apple on desk, etc.] } } Billy Harbrace: OWW!!! } } Mary Pietrowski: What's the matter, Billy? } } [Camera zooms in on Billy's right hand. It is lined with a thin } trickle of blood.] } } Billy: (Crying) I was resting my hand inside my desk, and just now } when I pulled it out my desk BIT me! } } [Dissolve] } [Scene 2: A 1950s high-school detention room. PAN to clock on wall, } which reads 3:30. PAN to the room's only occupant, Fred "Fonz" } Fonseca, asleep with his head on his desk. Sudden BELL.] } } [Fonz jolts awake and attempts to stand upright and leave the room. } He is trapped by the desk. With increasing frenzy he attempts to } shake free of the desk, to no avail.] } } Fonz: Auggh!! It's...SHRINKING!! I can't get out! (Etc., ad lib.) } } [Dissolve. PAN to clock, which reads 3:45. PAN to Fonz lying still } on the floor. Camera angle makes it clear he has been all but } bisected by his desk. Fade.] } } [Scene 3: Police Station. Young Bud Wheelwright, star of the college } varsity football team, has just rushed into Chief Wizener's office.] } } Bud: I tell you, Chief, you've got to believe me! They were killed by } THEIR DESKS!! The desks are shrinking!! You've got to do } something!!! } } Chief: Bud, Bud, you know I look the other way when you and the boys } have a little fun after a game, but this is going too far. Where's } the bottle? Who's been selling to you? } } Bud: (Choking back a sob) I'm not drunk! I'M NOT DRUNK!! (Growing } increasingly frenzied) THE...DESKS...ARE GOING...TO KILL US... } ALL... } } [Deputy Jones slips up behind Bud and puts a hammerlock on him as the } Chief quickly steps forward and snaps a pair of handcuffs on his } wrists.] } } Bud: (being dragged to a cell) NO....NO-OOO....NOOO-OOOOOO! } } [Scene 4. College math class. Professor Eierkopf is standing at the } blackboard, his back to the class, scratching his head and jotting } down complicated formulas.] } } Eierkopf: Now, the integral root of E^3 divided by the inverse } logarithmic coefficient of the velocity should yield... } } [Increasing tempo of strangled noises, muted shrieks, and moans from } off-camera.] } } Eierkopf: ...the exponent of... Now, really, class, I must insist, we } must have quiet... the relative force of the mass times time... } } [The screams are becoming too loud to ignore. Muffled thumps grow } louder.] } } Eierkopf: (turning) Class, I INSIST.... } } [ZOOM in to full-face closeup of Eierkopf in sheer horror. CUT to } view of class, where about half the students are struggling against } their desks in the last throes of strangulation, while the other } half are already lying motionless on their sides. Music CRESCENDO } and fade.] } } [Scene 5. Outside the University. Military vehicles, sounds of } sirens and airplanes. Crowd scene of soldiers. Slow zoom to } Colonel Peterson of the Army, talking with Professor Bright of } the Chemistry Department.] } } Col. Peterson: So, if I understand you, the smallest fragment of wood } from an alien desk is enough to cause an ordinary desk to mutate? } } Prof. Bright: Well, it's not a mutation, strictly speaking. In } scientific terms it would be considered a pathological } extraterrestrial viral invasion of the molecular substructure of } the organic material in... } } Col. Peterson: (exasperated) Look, Professor, with all due respect, } I'm trying to save lives, not win a Nobel Prize. What will it take to } wipe out the...mutation, virus, whatever? } } Prof. Bright: I'm afraid nothing short of total annihilation at an } instantaneous temperature of over 1 million degrees Centigrade. } } Col. Peterson: Professor, I'm a military man! In plain English, what } do we have that will do that? } } [ZOOM shot of Prof. Bright smiling grimly.] } } Prof. Bright: Nothing... except... the H-BOMB! } } Col. Peterson (grimly resolved, speaking into his walkie-talkie): } Lieutenant, get me Air Force HQ... } } [Scene 6. Bud frantically sawing away at the bars of his cell with a } case-knife.] } } Bud: They...(puff)...can't drop...(puff) the Bomb...(puff puff)...must } tell them about...(puff) gamma-ray molecular neutralizer... } } [Scene 7. Mid-range shot of B-52. JUMP to cockpit.] } } Pilot: I don't like this. The Japs, that was war, but this is } Plainville, USA. } } Co-Pilot: You heard the Colonel. It's either Plainville...or all of } us! } } [Engine sound CRESCENDO.] } } [Scene 8. University.] } } Colonel: Zero hour minus five and counting. } } [Two MPs rush up dragging a struggling Bud. Another MP hands the } Gamma Ray Molecular Neutralizer to the Colonel.] } } MP: We caught a Russkie spy, Colonel... } } Bud: NO!! NO!! I'm Bud Wheelwright, from State U.! I can stop the } desks... the Gamma Ray Molecular... } } Colonel: Shut up! If you're an American, maybe you can tell me who } played first base for the American League team in the 1952 World } Series? } } Bud: I... I... I don't know, sir, I'm mostly a *football* fan... } } [Colonel pulls an automatic pistol from his holster.] } } Colonel: Here's a message to take back to Moscow, Ivan! } } [Camera ZOOM to Colonel's set face as the crack of a single bullet } is heard.] } } [Scene 9. Long shot of University, then JUMP CUT to B-52. JUMP CUT } to University. A second or two of silence, then CUT to classic } pic of mushroom cloud.] } } [Scene 10. Soldiers in radiation suits approaching the Colonel. Lead } soldier doffs his helmet.] } } Soldier: We got them all, Colonel. Ran a sweep. The desks are gone. } } Colonel: (Face front to camera, as music swells) Men, sometimes... } a few must sacrifice...that all...may live... God Bless America! } } [Scene 11. A darkened room with cinder-block walls. Camera pans to } sign: "State U Bomb Shelter." SLOW PAN to center of room. Several } DESKS are there in a loose circle. As menacing drum beats gradually } crescendo, first one desk, then another, then all, begin to vibrate } and then creep slowly across the floor.] } } [Closing text: THE ... END ??? ] } [Credits] --- 500-04 --------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: buck@sunyit.edu (Jesse Buckley) The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Oh, magnificant Oracle whose feet I am truely unworthy to even have the > slightest idea of even trying to gain an attempt at possible coming > close to considering to smell... I need to know the following... > > Oh, great Oracle, please answer for me this one question that has been > burning my very brain for the turns of days a time... > > Why do we park on the driveway and drive on the parkway? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } The scene: } A smoky Comedy Club, complete with tiny stage, agressive "2-drink } minimum waitresses", and a brick facade. It's 3:30 am. The } "bright, young" comedians have started to take the stage to } do their 1/2 hour of material. The audience is drunk, asleep, } or simply not present. } } A fine, new, bright, young comedian has just finished twelve } minutes of schtick about the difference between dogs in New York } and cats in Los Angeles to thunderous silence and snoring. The young } comedian is so crestfallen and distracted that he completely blows } the next joke: } } "Why don't we park in the parkway and drive in the driveway?", he says. } } At that very moment, a sonic wormhole opens up in space and time. } } Galaxies far away, in the kingdom of Quatxnil, the king of } all Quatxnil is about to give a speech to all his subjects. His } majesty stands up on his royal three legs, leans towards the } microphone, ready to give a meaningful speech. Instead the other side } of the wormhole opens and all of Quatxnil hears the king declare, } "Why don't we park in the parkway and drive in the driveway?" } } Excited by the royal proclamation, the Quatxnilians go to the parkways } to park and to the driveways to drive. After 3 months, all of } Quatxnil is dead. Each Quatxnilian died either from starvation } in a massive traffic jam or by having a garage collapse on his head. } } Why do we park on the driveway and drive on the parkway? } To save all civilization from extinction. } } You owe the Oracle some Cypress trees, 12 bags of concrete, a small } pool of crankcase oil, and a pardon from Douglas Adams. --- 500-05 --------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Christophe Pettus The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > #include > > No this is not a "42" or "woodchuck" or "is there a sound ..." > question! SO DON`T PANIC ! > > How do you actually see the future? > I mean, do you performe timetravels or read other peoples hands or > use an I Ging or does god tell you the answers or do you have > a bag of fortune cookies ??????? > > Forgive your stupid novice for this question And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } #include } } Whenever I am called upon to predict the future, I do it in several } steps. } } First, I kill a pigeon (turtledoves are hard to find these days), } spread its entrails across the ground, and use it to divine the future. } That usually doesn't work, so I the mess and it turns into a } nicely-cooked appetizer that goes well with toast. } } Next, I do the same with a Republican. That usually doesn't work } either, and I'm forced to the mess and spread the ashes over the } Watergate building. } } After that, I usually run a Monte Carlo simulation. Of everything. As } you can guess, the computer that runs this simulation is big. } Incredibly big. In fact, if it existed in the normal space-time } continuum, it would, in fact, be significantly larger than the entire } universe. (As you can guess, it was mondo expensive to subcontract, } although as a result Intel is back on its feet again. To write the } program, it actually took many billion years longer than the universe } has been around, so I needed to borrow a friend's TARDIS to move } everyone back and forth throughout eternity. And boy, THAT was a story } in itself...) } } The only problem is, the random number generator isn't working very } well on my machine at the moment. And, well, since I am omnipotent and } all that, I kind of... cheat. If I predict something will happen from } the simulation, and it isn't about to occur, I sorta... intervene. So } -- it looks like the entire Western Hemisphere will be pelted by a rain } of squid for forty days and fifty nights. } } Have a nice day. } } You owe the Oracle a pair of fair dice. --- 500-06 --------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: John.McCartney@EBay.Sun.COM ( The Lion of Symmetry ) The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > O wise and wonderful, all seeing, all knowing, all doing Oracle (who > has done Lisa many times). Thou that knowest the true meaning of the > word "bunny fluff". Thou that knowest the actual number of hairs on a > wombat's behind (to the nearest 27). Please help thy humble > supplicant to solve his problem. > > I am falling in love with my pet wombat. Is this strange. Should I > see a doctor. Is oral sex with a minor wombat legal in Arkansas? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Supplicant, } Yes, it would normally be strange for anyone to fall in love with } a pet wombat. You might see a doctor (try going to the golf course on } a Thursday or Saturday morning), but really they don't look that } special and the sight would do little for you. The fact is that you } are the reincarnation of a wombat, and the residual memories of your } past life make wombats very attractive to you sexually. The Oracle has } two suggestions, mutually exclusive; take your pick: } } 1. Get a good self editor (like a text editor, only it works on living } things) and read the wombat into it. Now do a command to replace that } "bat" in "wombat" with "an": thus the wombat will be transformed into a } woman. Owing to the nature of self editors, the resulting woman will } still have a few wombatty characteristics and should still be } attractive to you. She will be very found of digging up roots, but } with training this can be modified into a passionate love for } gardening. } } 2. Visit your friendly neighborhood mad scientist and have yourself } transformed into another wombat. Of course, this has drawbacks: you'll } have to make arrangements for both of you to be moved to the Australian } bush, or to a nice zoo or something. Also, any affection the wombat } might have had for you could have been due to your being its master: as } a wombat, you might be dreadfully unattractive, with (say) ugly looks, } halitosis, foot odor, etc. There's no guarantee that your pet will } love your new self. You could find yourself unloved, rejected, and } being chased by dingoes, with no hope of protection or affection from } anyone or anything. } } Oral sex with a minor wombat is legal in Arkansas. Hillary Clinton was } the lawyer in the landmark case (Higglepharster vs. State), which } involved anal sex with a 'possum, and struck down all Arkansas laws } dealing with any form of sex with marsupials. --- 500-07 --------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: John.McCartney@EBay.Sun.COM ( The Lion of Symmetry ) The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Dear Oracle, > > Of late, your answers to me have been unfunny, unwitty and > unilluminating: they have, however, been factual - I'll give you that. > (Hence, no grovel.) > > Could you tell me why you aren't funny, witty and wise anymore - why > you have become truthful and boring, in fact? > > "To acquire learning, add one thing [to your mind] every day. > To acquire wisdom, forget one thing each day." - Chuangtse. And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Requiem for an Oracle. } ---------------------- } } I am but the sum of my parts: They grow weary, and wander. } } To paraphrase the words of the great Chuangtse, "They that are wise } have forgotten." They forget whence the Oracle came, once the provider } of pearls of wisdom that now are so scattered, as snowflakes in a } blizzard, obscured by the litter of multitudinous minds bereft of } learning, bereaved of wit. Oft blurred, the Supplicants and Querents } become dissatisfied, committing the Oracle to the downward spiral of a } falling leaf in the autumn. } } From strength came forth sweetness: From Oracle came forth wisdom. The } strength is waning as the wisdom, like the snow in the harsh sunlight } of day, dissipates. The Receiver, unwilling to invest a little time or } wit, denies the Donor a meritorious response. The Donor, dismayed, } refrains from seeking the Oracle's advice. And so it goes on. } } Pearls, when cast amongst swine, become as chewing-gum under a desk: } unappreciated until you stick your grubby digit in it. As you sow, so } do you reap. Seek not what you can get out of the Oracle, but ask } "What can I give?". } } Thus will the Oracle grow and flourish once more. Also if the damned } thing would run such that all responses to a query make it back to the } entity who asked the question, then would the less flippant and more } thought-out responses be forthcoming. What price a flippant off-hander } compared to a longer, more contrived response? What Priest would not } relish the magical vote in excess of 4.2 on the oracularity of his/her } choosing? } } You owe the Oracle nothing. He enjoyed the opportunity to have a good } gripe at the expense of your question. --- 500-08 --------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Todd Radel The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > The fellow on the next terminal keeps pointing at the screen saying > ZOT in a load voice. O, allknowing Oracle, could you please tell me > what is wrong with him. And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } The fool, no doubt asked another stupid woodchuck question. --- 500-09 --------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: David Sewell The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Oh wise and splendiferous Oracle, I beg that ye tell me: > > Is excessive grovelling in or out these days? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Of course, excessive grovelling never goes out of style with *me*, } however my extremely fickle priesthood has been cutting off almost all } of the long specimens these days. Not just from supplicants either, but --- 500-10 --------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Todd Radel The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > ** TIME PARADOX TURBO E-MAIL ** > DATE : 20th December 2017 > SUBJECT : Operation COUNTERZOT > FROM : connorj@rebelhq.garbage.dump (John Connor, Shock Resistance) > STATUS : URGENT > > There are two Terminators trying to blow my ass off right now so I'll > be brief. SKYNET has sent back a Series: X9000 Terminator to > assassinate you! Why? Well, we've discovered the best way to attack > SKYNET is by repeatedly sending it variations of the wood chuck > question by e-mail, thus crossing it's circuits and confusing the hell > out of it. SKYNET is convinced that you are the reason the wood chuck > question was invented. Boy, does it *hate* you! We sent back an agent > to help you, but he was arrested for indecent exposure (why can't they > invent a time machine that works on clothes ?) The X9000 can change > into a series of electrical pulses and travel across the net at twenty > times the speed of normal e-mail. Its chief weapon is its ray, > which afflicts whoever it strikes with such bad acne they commit > suicide. > Good luck. You, humanity and wood chucks are depending on you. And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Egads. There's only one thing to do: clone a Schwarzenegger simulacrum } and teleport my consciousness into it. With Arnold's brawn and my } brains the X9000 will be /dev/null fodder in no time. Here goes... } } %clone -o schwarzenegger } fatal error: insufficient body mass } attempting to reduplicate with two smaller bodies... } _______ ________ } \ *** RRRRIIIIP *** / } \_____________ _____________/ } \ / } Hello! I am Hans Orakel... | ... und I am Franz Orakel, und ve } | are hier to } | } WISE *YOU* UP!! | WISE *YOU* UP!! } | } Ja, Frans, look vot I haf hier | } today, a puny little brainless- | } Supplicant vot is zo schtupid | } he doesn't even know how to | } grovel! | } | Ja, he doesn't know how to } | praise der magnificence of our } | extremely enormous cerebellums } | mit his puny little macho-man } | cranium! } Oh, und he is so schtupid-- | } listen now und hear me later-- | } he vants to know, "Vot is der | } meaning of life?" | } | Such a pea-brain little macho-man } | qvestion! The silly television- } | watching-person has surely never even } | read Kierkegaard or Jean-Paul Sartre! } Ja, aber me and Franz, we read | } L'Etre et le neant in French | } while ve brush our teeth! Und | } we speak fluent Danish, too! | } | Ja, und listen, puny little macho- } | brain: "Der world is all dat is } | der case!" Dat is Wittgenstein, } | whose name you probably cannot even } | say mit your big ape-like mouth! } Ja, und Franz, hear his oder | } qvestion, "Hau much vood could | } a voodchuck chuck if a voodchuck | } could chuck vood?" | } | Ach, der tiny microbe-brain suppli- } | cant, der poor baby does not know } | dat Russell und Whitehead haf } | answered der Voodchuck Qvestion } | so long time ago in Principia } | Mathematica!! } Ja, zo listen now and hear us | } in the future, dachshund-brain: | } pump yourself up mit some smart | } drugs und do many brain teasers | } und read der Usenet until your | } itsby-bitsy flabby macho-man | } brain has many strong neural | } connections! | } | So nau, Hans, hier is another } | qvestion from a foolish Supplicant } | in der Futur varning us about a } | Terminator coming to kill us! } Ooooh, a Terminator, I am so | } scared I might not remember | } pi to 10,000 places! | } | Ja, vot is der overgrown macho-man } | Terminator going to do to us, mit } | all his brains in his massive } | buttocks? He cannot even count } | higher than ten because he has } | no more fingers! } Ha-ha, Franz, you forget his | } enormous overgrown macho-man | } male organ! I am zo impressed | } that he can count to eleven! | } But wait until he sees us doing | } binary division in our heads! | } | Ja, die Terminator will go running } | back to his macho-man Futur ven he } | sees our enormous cerebral organs } | engaged in massif cogitation! Shall } | we show der audience hau ve vill } | terrify die flea-brained Terminator? } Ja, like ZO: | } | } | } | } | Zo remember, friends, take many } | logic und computer science classes } | und someday you may have big } | nerdy-man brains like ours! Until } | next time, I am Franz Orakel... } Und I am Hans Orakel, und ve | } are hier to..... | } | } WISE *YOU* UP!! | WISE *YOU* UP!!!